Believing Anya
by Admiral
Summary: Okay, It's a silly fear, but anything can happen in Sunnydale. What would Buffy and Co. do if Anya were right?


**Disclaimer:** Buffy-The Vampire Slayer and all related characters are the property of Mutant Enemy Productions, Inc., Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises and Twentieth Century-Fox Television. No copyright infringement is intended. This work of fiction is for entertainment purposes only and no money has changed hands. The story and all original characters are the sole property of the author and may not be used or archived without permission.

**Author's Note:** I guess it's official. Two stories makes me an Anya 'shipper. I just hope I'm one of many. Just a couple of references: For info on Otto and Anibeth read my other Anya story, "Being Anya", and to see how Otto got broken read Mystic Star's "Just Another Tuesday in Sunnydale."

* * *

**Believing Anya**

**by Darrin Colbourne**

"Thank you for shopping at the Magic Box." I say with a smile as I send another satisfied customer out the door. It's good to be immersing myself in work. It helps me not to dwell on the weirdness of the past few weeks, like Giles leaving again (I hope he doesn't turn into the Watcher version of Michael Jordan. "I'm leaving!" "I'm coming back!" "I'm leaving!" "I'm coming back!" It's cramping my style.), and Tara and Willow going splitsville, and finding out we yanked Buffy out of heaven during that weird day when we were all singing, then finding out that my big lug of a fiancé caused it all (And finding out in the Sunnydale chat rooms that all the Slayer's numbers were breakaway pop hits and my soulful renditions didn't even get an honorable mention!), and Willow getting as addicted to magic as politicians get addicted to interns! Just thinking about it gives me a headache!

What really upsets me is that I should be obsessing over different things. I'm going to be a married woman soon! I should be clucking over China patterns, browsing in wedding boutiques for the perfect gown (And, yes, I'm wearing white! No comments!), and registering at the most expensive shops I can find for my shower. Instead, I'm wondering where the next demon will come from, worrying about whether we'll have to stake Buffy's best friend and trying to figure out how many hours I can put Dawn to work without violating any child labor laws (Christmas is just around the corner!).

There were no rushes today, unfortunately. That last customer was one of the only five I've had all morning and afternoon, and with only a couple of hours to closing prospects for business picking up are bleak. What is it with these people? How do they expect our country's economy to rise out of the doldrums if patriotic Americans don't spend money like there's no tomorrow?

My spirits soar as I hear the bell over the door, then I put on my game face, which droops a little when I see my potential customer: It's just a UPS guy, silly looking short pants and all, but anyone who walks through that threshold is fair game. Maybe I can convince him to pick up a trinket before I sign for the package.

"Hi." He says. "I'm looking for...let's see... 'Anya Jenkins'?"

"That's me." I say as I walk over to take the package. He offers me the electronic clipboard and a light pen and I take them. "Say," I say, just before I touch the point to the screen, "getting the right packages to the right people is important to you, isn't it? How would like a potion that'll make your sense of direction more accurate than a GPS locator?"

He smiles back at me and says very politely: "I'm just here to deliver this, ma'am."

I shrug and sign the clipboard. Maybe just planting the notion in his head will make him come back on his day off. We trade the clipboard for the box and he leaves, and I take the package to the counter and open it up.

"A top hat?" I say as I pull the object out. It's an old fashioned top hat, all scrunched up small like in the old movies. With a flick of my wrists it expands with a muffled snap. I contemplate it for a minute. I don't remember ordering anything like this. I mean, what's a top hat got to do with magic...

I inhale sharply and my heart catches in my throat as I remember! I leave the hat on the counter and slowly back away, praying that a magician in a stupid tuxedo and a ditzy assistant are necessary to make the trick work! No such luck...

The nose comes up first, that sickening, wiggling little snout that seems to be sniffing the air for fresh victims! Then its head pops up, and it sweeps the shop with its beady little eyes and wiggles its long ears like radar dishes. Then it's first hoppity legs emerge and it uses them to pull out the rest of its fuzzy white bulk, and its hind legs kick the hat over on its side as it fully emerges and comes to rest on the counter...

...looking directly at me!

I barely have a moment to deal with that when another of the terrible creatures worms its way out of the hat, followed by another a few seconds later! It's worse than I feared! They're multiplying like...well, what they are! It's like when I lost my memory and started conjuring them out of that stupid book, only I don't have the book to get rid of them again! (Giles! Giles! Come Back, Giles!) After I count to a dozen of the little perishers I start to panic! I don't know whether to scream, vomit or pee, and I'm afraid I may end up doing all three before it's all over! My first thought is to get Otto and see if I can use him to send them to Timbuktu or Portland or anywhere, but then I remembered that Xander broke my bat-statue Touchstone the last time I was out of town (And still hasn't replaced it like he promised! I wonder if I can take vengeance on him as a mortal?!)! I try for the door next, only to be cut off by three little cotton-tailed nightmares! The hat is still churning them out! There are about thirty now, all staring at me and hopping toward me, noses twitching away! I back up to the "Scooby" table and climb onto it, hoping they can't jump high enough to get me! I hear myself start to whimper as they close in, ogling me like an Easter Egg! I can't take it any more, and finally I start screaming, releasing the pent-up fear at the top of my lungs, waiting to meet my death by Rabbit's Foot...!

* * *

"It was the damnedest thing I ever saw." The man who saved me tells Xander and the police twenty minutes later. "After I speed-dialed 911 on my cell I rushed in to see what was happening. The place was full of bunny rabbits! I mean, they were just all over the place, and I saw your girl on the table in the back screaming like she was getting killed!"

I listen in as I sit at the table, trembling in a blanket and being checked by paramedics for signs of shock. All I want is the chance to go home and change my Jockey For Hers. Oh well. At least I didn't vomit.

"So what happened to the rabbits?" A police officer says.

"I don't know. After I carried her outside I came back in to see if I could herd 'em out the back or something, and they had disappeared! Right into thin air! Damnedest thing I ever saw."

I could see the skeptical look on the officer's face. "Is she gonna be all right?" He asks a paramedic. They were putting all their medical stuff away.

"She has a mild case of shock," the paramedic says, "but that's all. If she goes home and gets a good night's sleep, maybe takes the day off tomorrow, she should be fine."

The cop looks at his partner, who shrugs, then talks to Xander. "So you'll take her home?"

"Right away, officer." Xander says. "Listen, thanks for the help, everybody. I can take it from here."

The paramedics and cops nod at Xander, give me one last glance and leave. My Good Samaritan lingers a little longer.

"Y'know," he says, "my wife hates little furry things, like gerbils and white mice...I've never seen her pee herself over a bunch of rabbits."

Xander takes a quick look at me then takes the man aside, thinking I can't hear him. "Yeah...it is odd...um...it was her parents. They died in a horrible accident. The police thought the pet bunny might have caused it. Very tragic for a six-year-old. Very tragic."

Then they both look at me, and the man nods. "I suppose...still, damnedest thing I ever saw."

Sure! Make fun! But you haven't seen what I have! You don't know what evil lurks in our midst! Their cuteness has humanity fooled, I tell you! Fooled!

I watch as the man leaves, shaking his head, and then I'm alone with Xander. "Before you say it...!" I warn him.

"Relax, sweetie." He says, smiling. "All I was going to do was ask if you were all right."

I calm down at that, and suddenly I feel more relaxed than I have for the past hour. "I-I guess so." I say.

"Y'know," Xander says, "if Willow hadn't put that binding spell on me, I could've..."

"Oh, no you don't!" I say, remembering how Otto got broken. "You don't get to be 'Electric Man' again until you learn to control lightning or I get Electric Fiancé Insurance! Besides, it's over now. All I want to do is go home."

"Then let's go home." Xander says, and holds out his hand. Just as I reach for it I hear the bell over the door. Willow walks in, with that girl Amy in tow. I don't know much about her, other than that she was the pet rat Willow and Tara kept with them and she was Willow's Best Wiccan Buddy before she became a rodent, but everyone else seems to be wary of her. I do know, given recent events, that she can be a bad influence on Willow.

"I just came in to pick up my special order." Willow says, then she notices our faces. "What happened?" She asks.

"I was the victim of a terrorist attack!" I say. "It was horrible."

"A terrorist attack? What kind of attack was it?"

"Somebody sent me a bunny bomb."

Willow manages to keep a straight face for about three seconds before she explodes in mocking laughter. "Oh, Thank Goddess," Willow retorts, "as long as it wasn't one of those Exploding Candygrams that have been going around!" She laughs so hard at her crack she's starting to snort. "A 'bunny bomb', she says!"

"All right," Xander says, "All right! That'll be fine, Willow. Look, just help yourself to what you need and we'll get out of here. Anya's had a bad day."

"A 'bunny bomb'..." Amy mutters, then blurts out to me, "Oh my God! Are you all right?"

This just makes Willow laugh harder. "Yeah, Anya, did they violate you?"

"Okay, we get it. Look, Amy, you don't need to rub it in."

"I'm not rubbing it in." Amy says, which makes Willow stop laughing and catches Xander by surprise, and when I look at her face it hits me...Amy means it. "I really want to know if she's not hurt."

"Well," Willow says, "she does get a little jittery around bunnies, but it's not a life threatening situation."

Amy looks at her in surprise. "You don't know, do you?" Then she looks at Xander. "And neither do you? You guys fight all these evil monsters and demons and you don't know what bunnies really are?" Then she looks at me. "But you do? You were a demon yourself once, right? You know what bunnies are."

I'm a little taken aback. No one has ever taken me seriously about bunnies before. "Um, no...I mean, I don't actually know why. I just know that I've had this dread fear of bunnies, for a very long time."

"Good. That makes you the smart one. You should fear bunnies. Especially you. You got a 'bunny bomb' today, right? That means that somehow a mass of bunnies was made to appear before you?"

"Yes. They came out of that hat on the counter. It was delivered by UPS."

"They're getting modern." She muttered, then looked at Willow and Xander, who were giving her the "She's Insane" look they usually reserve for me. "Look, think what you want but something big is going to happen in Sunnydale. You might want to get the Slayer in on this, too."

* * *

I try to clean up the best I can in the bathroom in the shop. Amy was so insistent we decided to stay and have Buffy come to the Magic Box. I'm still wondering if this is some kind of prank, more elaborate than the usual ribbing I get, but it's nice to have someone worry about bunnies as much as I do, even if only for a little while.

Buffy walks in just as I return to the table, and I see she's brought Dawn with her. I guess its difficult to find good babysitting help when you have a night job as important as hers. Dawn seems...eager to be here, probably anticipating a great adventure which requires running away screaming from very large and dangerous mystical creatures. Ah, to be fifteen again...heck, to be a hundred and fifty again!

The Summerses (or is it just 'Summers'? I hate pluralized surnames!) join us at the table as I sit down. "So, what is it this fine Tuesday?" Buffy says. "Another Ascension? Did another slayer from Rio Di Janeiro show up to replace me this time? Did somebody find another demonic lock that my sister The Key fits? Oh, I know! Xander called up a miming demon this time and we're all going to turn into Blue Man Group!"

I know Buffy's been upset by a lot of things the past few weeks, but she can still be a brat. I decide I'll just tell her to her face, and have Amy--hopefully--back me up. "No, Buffy," I say, "this time it's Bunnies!"

"Oh, of course it is." Buffy says snidely. "Well, now that that's settled, Dawn and I will be leaving..."

"Buffy, sit down and shut up!" Amy says. I don't think anyone in this group has ever spoken to the Slayer like that. I can tell because I've never seen all of them catch flies with their mouths the way they are right now. I have an urge to go "OOOOOOHHHH!" like they do on TV shows, but I suppress it. I need Buffy on my side right now.

Buffy cracks the muscles in her neck and speaks menacingly. "I think the fact that Willow brought you back into the Human rat race has made you a little cocky. You might want to think twice before ever speaking to me like that again."

Amy answers me instead. "Listen. I know a spell that will put us on Aruba with mai-tais and cabana boys in the blink of an eye. Do you want to go, and leave these idiots thinking that Bugs and Buster are all lovable and everything while the bunnies take Sunnydale to the tenth level of Hell?"

I look around. Buffy is glaring at Amy now, and Dawn is still looking on in shock. Willow seems a little hurt that Amy asks me instead of her. Xander simply looks at me, obviously waiting for an answer. I give the only one I can.

"I can't leave Xander. Either we make him see reason or make him go with us, but I can't leave him."

Amy lets out a breath, then turns back to Buffy. "If you would just wait, I can explain everything. Bunnies are a real danger, and after today they're an immediate one, one that only a Slayer can stop."

Suddenly, I consider Amy my new best friend. Really. In fact, if Xander lets me keep her, she can be my lesbian witch lover! Just so long as she keeps backing me up! Her plea is enough to make Buffy sit back down, but the Slayer still has that "I'm going to filet her" look.

Finally, Dawn finds the courage to speak. "Actually...I'd like to know what Anya finds so frightening about bunnies."

"That's a good idea." Amy says. "It might help put things in perspective. Listen, Anya, can you remember the first time you ever found yourself afraid of bunnies? Tell us about it in detail, to the best of your recollection."

And then all eyes are on me. I clear my throat and sit straight up in my chair, preparing to tell a story I haven't told anyone in centuries. "It was in the Fifteenth Century," I say, "a few years before Colombus bumped into this continent on the way to India. I was summoned to a farming village in Scotland by a woman who'd found out her husband was using half the money they made from their crops to keep a mistress in a cottage in a nearby town. She begged me to do something special to him, and by then I was at the peak of my power and was feeling cocky, so I decided to spread the misery out a few days. On the first day I just danced around him. You know, killed his favorite mule, rotted a wheel on his favorite cart, gave him the runs, petty things. The next day, when I was ready to get down to the serious vengeance business, something happened in town. Apparently, the blacksmith's shop had been mysteriously overrun by bunny rabbits. He hated them back then as much as I do now, but at the time no one thought anything about it. He just figured he'd been cursed and just gave the rabbits away. Almost everyone in the town and in the surrounding farms had one after that, and even I contemplated giving one a home until I remembered I was visiting on business. After taking the more direct approach with the wayward farmer--lesions, boils, crabs, yadda yadda yadda--I decided to spend some 'quality time' that night with an old warlock friend of mine and finish up on the next day.

"When I returned, there was no one left for me to finish up on. My target was dead, along with his wife, his mistress, the blacksmith and every single person in the village and town. There was no evidence of any attack, or plague or infestation that might have killed them, but every crop in every farm had disappeared, more completely than being ravaged by pestilence.

"I almost felt sorry for the humans I wasn't summoned to destroy. Their bodies all lay where they had been, either working or talking or playing. There was no evidence of injury, but each one of them looked pale and frightened, as if their hearts had stopped from sheer terror. I remember feeling that I was in the presence of true evil, an evil so great that it actually dwarfed mine.

"Then they came out. I was walking through a barren field when a rabbit came out of a hole, then another, then more holes opened up. I was suddenly surrounded by rabbits, and all of them were making their way towards me. I remembered that I was the only one who hadn't taken a rabbit as a pet, and thought that might have something to do with the fact that I was still alive. Right then and there I decided I wanted nothing to do with those things. They were an omen, a harbinger of doom! I don't know! All I knew was that I had to get away from them. It wasn't just the first time I was afraid of bunnies! It was the first time since I'd become a demon that I was afraid of anything!

"I left the village and never looked back, and I made sure I never put myself in a position that made me vulnerable to bunny rabbits. Of course, I never thought I'd be human, without any powers or mystical protection, so now I feel doubly vulnerable whenever they're near me.

"That's my story. Make of it what you will, but I know what I saw."

Everyone is still staring when I'm done. It actually feels good to have gotten all that off my chest. Amy nods and starts to pace a little, while Xander takes my hand and gives it a little squeeze. I don't know if he believes me, but at least he wants to comfort me. Willow and Dawn are lost in thought, as if trying to grasp what I've just told them. And then...well...there was Buffy.

"Bunnies wasted an entire farming village??" She says to me, then turns to Amy. "Do you honestly believe this bullsh--?"

"Yes, I do, Buffy!" Amy says. "I believe it because of what I've heard."

"What have you heard?" Willow says. "I've never heard anything about 'demonic bunnies'."

"It wouldn't have been written anywhere or told to other humans if no one survived the attack." Amy says. "Besides, I heard it when I was a rat."

"When you were a rat?" Xander says, and I begin wondering whether it's a good idea to have Amy on my side. "I'm sorry. I just can't picture you going into many chat rooms or websurfing with those tiny pointed feet."

"Not that way, Xander." Amy says. "I was an animal for two years. I learned a lot about animals that way. I mean, all I had to do was run on a wheel and eat pellets, so I had plenty of free time. I could see things about animals that I couldn't see when I was human. Like, they can speak...at least with each other. It wasn't long before I was striking up conversations with squirrels and raccoons in the window.

"I could hear birds, too. They sing real songs when they chirp. Songs of joy, songs of sadness, songs that are funny and sometimes songs that are scary. When Anya told me about what happened today I remembered a particular song I heard a bluebird sing to its chicks. Human vocal chords could never reproduce the melody, but I remember the gist of it. It was about a 'great spirit' called Hesquorath the Harvester, who used small woodland creatures as his minions. He preferred to operate in secrecy and subterfuge, making sure that no human was ever able to sense or record his presence. The legend goes that he chose rabbits as his favorite servants, because they were so docile and humans rarely gave them a second thought. When he was ready to strike a human settlement, he would overrun the place with rabbits, usually starting with the homes and establishments of humans that might be close to realizing he existed. The rabbits would then mark his victims by clinging to them like loyal pets. Their reward for this would be the right to plunder whatever they wished from the settlement's fields and stores."

"Okay," Buffy says, "so what does Bunny Boy do with his victims?"

"He devours their souls." Amy says. "The same way bunnies steal vegetables, from underground, so that the unsuspecting don't see it coming. To avoid making noise he communicates with them with movement."

"Like the nose-twitching!" I say. I knew there was a reason for it!

"That's part of it." Amy says. "The ears play a part, too. That's why they're so long. Better for signaling."

"Uh-huh," Buffy says, still unconvinced. "Okay, so let's say this fairy tale is true. What am I supposed to do about it? Slay every bunny in Sunnydale?"

"That would be a good start!" I say.

"That would be horrible!" Willow says, still not getting it! "Maybe we could just move them someplace else."

"Move them where?"Amy says. "All you'll do is mark somebody else's town for feeding. Besides, bunnies or not Hesquorath is on his way here, and Anya's experience today proves it."

"Do you think he'll come after me?" I say.

"He sent you the bunny bomb. That means he considers you a threat to his secrecy, and if he comes for you he can't leave the rest of the town untouched."

Oh great! Now I'm in mortal danger from some bunny demon! Why can't I just be a normal bride-to-be like everybody else?

"It also means the bunnies aren't the biggest problem." Amy says. "We have to find a way to stop the Harvester."

"I've heard enough." Buffy says as she starts out. "Come on, Dawnie."

"But wait!" Dawn says. "Shouldn't we at least consider--"

" I already have 'considered'!" Buffy says, then opens the door. "Look out there! Do you see any hordes of bunnies? Do you see people carrying them around? Have they gathered by the door chanting in little bunny language 'Send out the Demon'? No. Why? Because the only place bunnies are dangerous is in Anya's empty head!"

I feel tears well up in my eyes. I'm not empty-headed! I've learned more in a thousand years than Buffy ever will! I don't deserve to be treated like a moron because I've instinctively known something all my life that she can't accept! I glare at her as she drags Dawn out the door, and she glares back as she slams it shut behind her.

No one else says anything for a long time. There's a lot of staring at each other, then at the floor, until Xander breaks the silence. "Well, I've seen Giles regressed to an angry teen, our Mayor turned into a giant snake at graduation, my only guy friend turned into a werewolf, and I've dated a deb, scored with a slayer, kissed a witch and proposed to an ex-demon. I think I'm willing to go with the percentages and grant that this might be happening. That said, without Buffy on board, and without Giles's input on the subject, what can we do?"

"Nothing, yet." Willow says. "Look, Anya, Buffy may have been out of line, but she's partly right. Even if the story is true, we still don't have any evidence that this 'Harvester' is coming besides what happened to you today. It might be something magical, but not necessarily that. It could be Anibeth coming back to scare you for all we know."

I blanche, remembering the Wiccan Demigoddess that almost killed me the last time I used Otto. "I never thought of that." I say.

"If we can't do anything now," Xander says, "then I should really get Anya home." He helps me up, then we all get ready to go.

"Okay," Amy says, "but let's stay alert! The sign that Hesquorath is coming could show itself any time, and we have to be ready to accept it for what it is."

* * *

The next day I have a quiet breakfast with Xander and spend the morning lounging in my Fredrick's of Hollywood peignoir and terrycloth robe and slippers. I look out the windows and mentally count all the money I'm losing by keeping the store closed. I'm almost afraid to be alone, but I'm even more afraid to venture out, worried that I'll emerge from my home into a world taken over by bunnies.

Around noon the doorbell rings. I go over to answer it. "Who is it?" I call through the door.

"It's Willow," Willow calls back from the other side, "and I'm ready to accept it!"

Curious, I open the door...and suddenly my heart's in my throat again! My tongue ties, my gut clenches and I stammer like a fool!

She's carrying two bunnies in her crossed arms! They look at me immediately when they notice my presence and begin to twitch and sniff at me!

"Sorry, Anya," Willow says. She tosses the two bunnies down the hall, then rushes in and shuts the door. I run over to throw the deadbolt and lock the latch, then I have to run to the bathroom. I don't have enough time to lift the lid on the toilet, so I have to hold my head over the sink. Today's breakfast doesn't taste anywhere near as good coming up as it did going down.

After I clean up and come out, Willow speaks. "They were all over campus when I went to class this morning. Almost every student I saw was carrying one. Some had two or three. There's this girl in my Humanities class that had four crawling all over her, and she told me once that she's allergic! The Organic Chemistry labs were full of them, but none were being experimented on! Everybody was just 'oooohhing' and 'aahhhing' and cuddling them while they shoved needles into defenseless monkeys!"

"Stop!" I beg her. "I don't want to dry heave all day!"

"I want to officially apologize for everything we've ever said about your fear, Anya!" Willow says. "They're all over Sunnydale, just like that village. You and Amy may be right after all."

Yay. A "Scooby" believes me. Big deal, now that I can never leave my apartment again! "I was just getting used to living as a human." I whimper. "I was just getting used to living."

"We're not dead yet!" Willow says. "Amy's working on a plan to stop Hesquorath. She says she'll meet us at the shop." With that, she waves her hand at me and my bedclothes are transformed into a very stylish ensemble and my hair and make-up are done. She grabs my hand and drags me to the door.

"Wait!" I plead, pulling back. "I can't...!"

"I'll watch out for you," Willow says, "but we should go now."

She opens the door and we go out into the hall. Other tenants are milling about. All of them are carrying bunnies, and a dozen more are scurrying around the floor. When all the little creatures turn their heads to look at me, I whimper and feel my bladder fill.

Willow drags me back inside, and this time she locks the door when it's closed. We stand against it side by side, and with my hand tight in her grip, Willow says, "Tell y'what, Anya. We'll just take a shortcut." With that, she begins to chant her transportation spell.

* * *

We hunker down in the closed shop with the security gates down. It's about a half hour before we hear a pounding on the gate outside the door. "It's Xander and Amy!" My honey calls in. Willow and I rush to the door, and Willow uses magic to unlock the gate from the outside. Xander rolls the gate up and I unlock the door from the inside.

I squeal when they walk in! A thousand bunnies have covered the street outside, and several try to follow Xander and Amy in. Amy electrifies the area behind them to keep the bunnies back, then I slam the door as tight as I can and lock it back.

I find myself mesmerized and horrified by the scene outside. Bunnies, bunnies everywhere! On the sidewalk, in people's arms, in the street! (Car traffic is at a standstill. Nobody wants to hurt the bunnies, darn them!) Animal Control is out on foot, trying to capture the bunnies humanely, but they can't be humane! They won't stop the bunnies being humane!

"Anya, come on," Xander says as he pulls me away from the door, "Come back here. You'll be okay back here."

At that point I break down and start to cry, burying my face in Xander's chest. I'm not strong enough to have so much exposure to my worst nightmare in two days. I don't know how Buffy faces vampires by herself every night. Now I understand why bringing her back was so wrong! How could she possibly enjoy being in this world under any circumstances, but especially after she'd been someplace where she felt so safe?

I'm startled out of my misery by a rapping on the door. For a fleeting moment I panic, worried that they've now learned how to knock, but when I turn around, I see Buffy and Dawn standing outside. Amy goes to let them in, keeping the bunnies out the way she did before. After the Summers(es) are in, Willow closes the gate down, presumably so the bunnies don't see me.

"There she is!" Dawn says to Buffy, pointing to me. "Go tell her!"

"All right! I'll tell her!" Buffy says, looking annoyed.

"Tell her now!" Dawn says, folding her arms.

"Ooh! If you weren't The Key...Bang! Zoom!" Buffy says, gesturing in a threatening manner. Then she comes over to Xander and me, and looks at me sheepishly. Then she straightens up and clears her throat. "Anya," she starts, "I was a little...um...Yesterday I said some things that...Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. I was rude and unfair and I shouldn't have called you empty-headed."

"And?!" Dawn says, tapping her foot.

"And you were right about the bunnies and I was wrong! Bunnies bad, Buffy must stop! What can I do to help?"

I'm in shock. I never thought she'd come around. I mean, it would sound outlandish if it weren't happening to us right now, but even then...never in my wildest dreams would I expect Buffy to say I'm right and she's wrong! The joy I feel at having the center of our little group acknowledging my contribution almost makes up for the terror I've been through. Almost.

"What made you change your mind?" Xander asks. Dawn answers for Buffy.

"You should have been at my school today! There were bunnies all over the place! It was like a cheerleader's bedroom! I go to homeroom, there's bunnies! I go to gym, there's bunnies all over the bleachers! I got to lunch, and the lunch lady is cooing over bunnies as she doles out Tuna Surprise! The lunch lady never coos over anything, especially not when she's doling out Tuna Surprise!"

"Whoa." Xander says, as I wonder if I can convince D'Hoffryn to give me my demonhood back long enough to wish us all the hell out of this nightmare. "And I thought watching construction workers petting the little fuzzballs was scary."

"So I called Buffy to get me out of school and then made her come and help!" Dawn says. "So, we're here! Okay, whadda we do next?"

"Next, we get ready to meet the demon they're all here to help." Amy says. I didn't notice before, but she'd been searching around the shop for something. "Anya, do you have any blades, like daggers or swords?"

"Well, no," I say, "we wouldn't sell anything like that, but there should be plenty upstairs where Buffy works out."

"Right. I should have guessed. Being a rodent for couple of years kinda scrambles your brain."

"C'mon, Amy. Let's get what you need." Buffy says, then leads Amy up to the loft.

"There's some ingredients for a spell I need, too." Amy says, then calls out the items she needs. Willow and Dawn hunt around the store looking for them.

* * *

Ten minutes later we're gathered around a pentagram Willow has drawn on the floor with lipstick. In the center are three very long and mean-looking daggers and a jarful of the potion Amy made with the ingredients Willow and Dawn collected. Once everything is ready, Amy spells out her plan.

"We'll need a lot of magic to pull this off," Amy says, eliciting an eager nod from Willow. "Soul-eaters like Hesquorath need fresh souls to be at full power. If he hasn't eaten for a while, he may be weak enough that we can kill him. The only problem is getting him to where we can attack him. He'll stay in the shadows, trying to 'harvest' the souls his minions are marking for him, but if we can draw him out, we may be able to do damage with these things.

"This potion is a soul-killer. Naturally I couldn't find specific references to Hesquorath, so I couldn't figure out how to kill him with one shot, but I figure something that dissipates his source of nourishment couldn't be good for him either. We can bind the potion to the daggers, then Buffy, Xander and Dawn can use them to stab and infect the Harvester once he's in the open."

"How do we get him into the open?" Buffy says.

"We move the bunnies." Amy says.

"I thought you said we couldn't do that." Willow says.

"We can't move them to another place, but we don't have to." Amy explains, and everybody thinks it might work.

"That may bring him out," Buffy says, "but it won't necessarily bring him out where we want him."

"No," Amy says, a little reluctantly, "to do that, we have to give him some bait he can't refuse."

Everyone looks confused for a moment, then as realization creeps in, everyone turns to look at me.

"Oh, crap." I mutter.

* * *

We wait till midnight, assuming the Harvester will want it to be as dark as possible before he strikes. Willow and Amy are flanking me at the door, and the others are brandishing the poisoned daggers behind us. I'm trying to work up the courage to reach for the doorknob. I'm not doing very well at it.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Willow asks me quietly.

"Not really." I say. "Are you sure you two want to be so close to my legs? I have a feeling that this isn't going to be one of my more...continent moments."

Willow and Amy giggle, but I don't mind. It's always best to have a light moment before heading into the jaws of death--not that having your soul devoured would be any less painful with a smile on your face.

Just then I gasp and stand on my toes as a weird tingly feeling dances all over my rear and...other places. When it stops I look over at Willow, who's smiling.

"I just magically 'Scotchguarded' your panties." The witch says. "No unsightly messes...and no going pee-pee on your friends' heads."

Everyone giggles a little at that, and I'm not so afraid anymore. "How do you feel now?" Amy says.

"I'm ready." I say, making a mental note to have Xander learn the spell Willow used when we get out of this. I take a deep breath and reach for the doorknob, then I open the door wide.

The streets are mainly clear of people, but the bunnies are still there, of course. They perk up immediately and turn to look at me in the door. Willow and Amy use electricity to push back the ones right at the door. All but one.

I look down at it as it looks up at me. This has to be the scariest moment of my life. I don't know if I can do it. In fact, I'm certain that I can't...I just know I have to.

I wipe sweaty palms on my skirt, then use all of my willpower to bent down and touch my fingertips to the little beast. I force my hands to grasp it firmly and lift, and have to concentrate on not dropping it as it wriggles its furry little body in my grip. I can hear myself whimpering as I straighten up, then bring the little monster in close, till he's resting on my chest. A single tear rolls down my cheek and I hyperventilate slightly as I cross my arms over him, holding him to my bosom. I try to stare straight ahead, ignoring the fact that his paws are thumping on my chest and he never stops looking at me.

"Ready." I say, my voice cracking.

With that, we walk very slowly through the other bunnies. They all have their eyes on me, but I try to ignore them. Willow and Amy clear the way with magic, while Xander, Dawn and Buffy bring up the rear. We make our way to the center of the street, then stop. The witches clear a wider circle around us, allowing Buffy, Dawn and Xander room to encircle us and stand ready to defend us.

Willow and Amy position me in the center of the circle, then sit down on either side of me and clasp hands around my legs. They say a few preliminary chants, which cause them to glow with power and make their eyes blacken. The chants change, become more guttural and commanding, and the earth starts to move, quaking under our feet.

Just as the witches stop chanting, the very air around us ripples outward, and suddenly all the bunnies in the ripple's path are drawn into the sky! The ripple keeps going and going, according to Amy's plan! Soon it will spread all over Sunnydale, and every bunny in town will be drawn into the air and out of the reach of every human being!

We wait and wait, seconds turn into long minutes, until there's a cloud of wriggling objects overhead as far as the eye can see. They look like the oddest flock of birds in the universe, and the biggest! Stray bunnies float up for a minute or so until all of them are in the mass. It's fascinating to see.

"That's all." Amy says, and suddenly it's not so fascinating. That means there's nobody in the entire town holding a bunny...

...except me.

I look down at my little prisoner. He's stopped wriggling and thumping, but continues to look up at me. A few seconds stretch into eternity as we have a staring contest, then he opens his mouth and lets out a scratchy, ragged squeal, that lasts as long as a high note sung by one of the Three Tenors. It's weird. I didn't know bunnies made noise.

I look around at everyone else as the silence stretches on. Buffy, Dawn and Xander are looking around, waiting for something to happen. Willow and Amy just give each other a quick glance and begin a different chant. Soon a Wiccan force field surrounds the three of us, but leaves the others outside. We're still following Amy's plan, but with myself trapped in the force field with the bunny and my Xander trapped outside with...whatever, I begin to wonder if we're doing the right thing.

The earth starts to move again, quaking under my feet, but this time the quaking gets stronger and stronger with each second. "Whatever happens," Amy calls up to me, "don't move, and DON'T DROP THE BUNNY!"

The massive quake ends with a massive final slam that almost throws me off my feet. I manage to regain my balance as it gets quiet again. I'm almost ready to call the whole thing off and move everybody to Aruba.

I don't get the chance.

Suddenly, two stores down the road, a massive...thing rises from the pavement like steam from a sewer. Soon it takes form, a sort of wraith-like presence that looks like a pure demon with a chemical smoke shell surrounding black bile. It must be thirty feet tall on all fours, and it has massive claws, two elephant tusk-sized canines where its front incisors should be, and huge eyes that glow a sickening green. It spots us immediately and begins to approach, sliding itself forward on its limbs.

Under any circumstances any one of those characteristics would be frightening, but its what they make when put together that makes my blood run cold and sends chills up and down my spine. I shiver in mortal terror as I look upon the form of Hesquorath the Harvester...

...the biggest, most hideous, most horrifying mutant of a bunny that I've ever seen in my thousand-year life!

The bunny in my arms strains its neck to look back at the demon and squeals again. This time the demon, rage in his eyes, answers back, baring a hundred sharp fangs and sounding like Bunnyzilla, shattering every window in a three-block radius.

I'm not conscious of when I started screaming, I just suddenly realize that I am, straining my lungs as I do. I also realize two other things: One, Dawn is screaming right along with me, and Two, my panties are working as advertised.

Buffy doesn't wait for the monster to get close! She rushes at him, dagger poised to strike, but she doesn't get near any vital areas. The demon swats the Slayer into a nearby store with a swipe of its forepaw...or, more accurately, through a nearby store into the alley beyond. My Xander rushes in next! Look at him go! My White Knight! My Hero! My...God! I've never seen any human-shaped object get flipped that high! He lands very painfully in a convertible parked down the road.

I wonder for a moment whether Dawn will try to rush Hesquorath or stay by us and wait for Buffy to recover. I get my answer when I look around for her and spot her back...as it barrels at top speed down the road away from the demon.

I wish fervently that Willow and Amy would let me do the same as I turn back around and see that Hesquorath is much closer! His open mouth is only a few feet away as he howls again and slams his paw down on the force field! The energy of the field crackles and pulses under the devastating impact, but it holds! It keeps holding as Hesquorath strikes over and over again, but one look at the two witches shows the strain they're under. Willow starts chanting again, gritting her teeth all the way. Soon a bolt of lightning strikes out from the field, sending Hesquorath reeling in pain. He recovers quickly, though, and lunges at us again!

Before he can strike he wails in agony! He turns around to look at something behind him, and sees what I see. Buffy has recovered and is dragging her blade through the demon's side, spilling bile from his flank. A fast paw slams down to squash her, but this time she somersaults over it! When she lands she imbeds the blade in the paw, and the rabbit howls again! She moves to the side, drawing Hesquorath's attention, trying to keep him away from me and the witches!

The Harvester gives off a couple of short growls as he turns to face-off with the Slayer. Buffy never takes her eyes off him, looking for the best place to hit him. He's already bleeding bile. Amy was right. Without his "harvest" he's vulnerable. I'm beginning to hope that we'll win this!

Then the stupid bunny squeals again, which makes Hesquorath look back at me and howl in response! Buffy uses the distraction to run up his forepaw and onto his body! The next time I see her she's straddled the monster, and is stabbing him over and over again, splattering herself in his bile! He tries to spin around and throw her off, but apparently he's solid enough for her to hold on tight!

Not for long! He discorporates into an inky smog and flows away, leaving Buffy to fall to the pavement! She survives he impact but is unable to get up again! When Hesquorath reforms, he looms over her, ready to kill!

"Anya," Willow says, "whatever you do, DON'T LET GO OF THE BUNNY!"

I know that already! Why is she telling me...?

"Oh, no!" I say as the force field disappears, and suddenly, an invisible force has me in its grip! I clutch tight to the bunny as I feel myself lift off the ground, faster and faster like a rocket! I look up and moan in horror as I realize I'm headed right for the "bunny cloud"!

I look down when I hear the bunny squeal again, just in time to see that Hesquorath is following me with his eyes! His head is raised, then his whole body lifts up on his hind legs!

I can barely hear Amy scream "Now, Buffy! Through his heart!!" Buffy flexes her arm and hurls her dagger at the demon's torso! A bolt of blue shoots out of the witches and through the blade as they give it a telekinetic boost!

An explosion of bile erupts from Hesquorath's back as he wails in agony! The mystical bullet has mortally wounded him! I stop rising as I watch him go through his death throes, wailing and writhing as the bile pours out of him and covers the street! His form begins to dissolve before our eyes, the bile spilling to the ground and the smoke rising into the air, and his roar fades away more and more as he breaks down into nothingness. Soon there's nothing left of him but a dark stain all over the pavement.

I slowly descend to the street, and the bunnies follow me down. Willow and Amy bring me in for a landing right between them, and we have the oddest precipitation ever as it rains bunnies. They land gently all over the place, getting stuck in the bile and getting all messy like the rest of us. Finally, the street is like it was when we started, full of bunnies with us in a clearing. Buffy joins us as soon as she can move, then collapses near Willow. I see Xander approach in the distance, being propped up by Dawn who (I guess) circled around the block to help him. They come over to the clearing and sit down awkwardly. Willow and Amy finally let go of each other and fall back, exhausted.

"Can I move now?" I say. I'm wiped out (I finally appreciate what that slang means. Wow.).

"Yes, you can move." Willow says, and I drop down to my knees and sit on my feet. I notice all the bunnies all around, but they're not looking at me and I'm too tired to be scared anymore anyway. Even the bunny in my arms has given up staring at me and has taken to cleaning his face with his forepaw.

"Can I let go of the bunny now?" I ask.

"Yes, you can let go of the bunny." Amy says, and I release the little critter with pleasure. I try to ignore the way it scampers down my body to join his friends and just enjoy the fact that I'm rid of him.

"Can I go to the..." I start to say, then I remember. "Never mind. Already did that."

"Me too." Xander says weakly.

"Me three!" Dawn chimes in.

"Ditto." Buffy says from her prone position on the street. Then she looks around and says "Y'know, our souls may be safe but this many bunnies in one spot has gotta be a problem."

"Preaching to the converted." I say.

"One thing's for sure." Xander says. "Every garden in Sunnydale is toast."

"Not to mention every park." Willow says.

"Every playground." Dawn says.

"Every salad bar, every vegetarian restaurant..." Xander says.

Amy's quiet for a moment, then says "I know a couple of caging spells..."

"So do I...." Willow says.

Buffy looks around again, then pushes herself into a sitting position with a groan. "I guess we might as well give Animal Control a hand."

Everybody agrees, and as I watch the horde of bunnies that have made their way into my store, I say "One thing: Can we start with the Magic Box?"

* * *

Sunnydale is bunny-free two days later, and the town has returned to normal...at least, what passes for normal. The "Scoobies" are going through their usual round of "Musical Anya's Helpers", taking turns giving me a hand so that I don't feel so alone during the day after my ordeal. It's Amy's turn today, and while we're still not breaking records in sales we've had a pretty busy day. I'm finding out what one of my regulars wants right now.

"I think we have just that amount of Hogswart downstairs, Mrs. Lethbridge. One second. Amy?"

Amy looks up from the register. "Yes, Anya?"

"When you're done with that would you get some Hogswart from the basement?"

"Sure." Amy says. She finishes ringing up her customer and heads down to the basement. I'm engaging Mrs. Lethbridge in small talk while we wait, when a piercing scream sounds from the stairway. Amy runs back up the stairs, whimpering in terror, and runs to hide behind me. I can't imagine what happened.

"Come back here!" Someone calls up the stairs as he ascends. I'm surprised to see that it's Spike that emerges. He cringes a little as he passes the front window (the sun is still up), then comes straight over to Amy and me.

"Don't worry." I say. "He's annoying, but he can't hurt you."

"That's not it!" Amy whines. I look at Spike again and I see that he's hiding something...lumpy in his coat.

"Look, I don't want to hurt you. I just came to settle up for a couple of things I nicked from downstairs." He says. (I knew some things had been missing! I just didn't know how till now.) "After the stuff with the rabbits and the soul eater..."

"Wait a minute." I say. "You knew about the rabbits?"

"Sure I did." He says.

"Well, Geez Louise...why didn't you ever tell Buffy or the others about it?!"

"What? And look like some damn fool that gets all twitchy around bunny rabbits??!"

I resist the urge to hit him.

"Anyway, after all those bunnies showed up I decided it would be best if I got my affairs in order, so I wanted to settle a few debts. I hate bunnies! The bloody perishers wrecked my crypt!"

As he babbles I notice the lumps in his coat are moving. Then one peeks its head out. Then another.

"Keep them away!" Amy sobs, and I understand.

"What?" Spike says. "I thought all mortal girls think kittens are cute."

I reach up to pat Amy's hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort her.

"I've been there." I say.

Final Author's Note: Before I get a bunch of inquiries and nitpicks about it: Yes, bunnies do make the noise I described, usually when in mortal danger or already mortally wounded.


End file.
